Friends.

I miss when there are times when i have alot of friends. When im bored..no matter what..theres always someone tend to be free.. Or come up with ideas.. But shit happens thou.. I always believe whatever happened..it resembles something..like what happened between mimi n me.
Because of her... It has affected n show me who are my real friends. No matter how long u knew them..it only takes just an incident to reveal who are my true friends..

For now i proudly say my best friends are farah lydia n Q.. Even thou they are busy with their work n boyfriend..i know they will have my back..no matter what.

Things happen for a reason. So what..if u guys are having a good time partying everyyyttiimmee with your best buddies..? For what u wanna have a group of friends? Just a handful in your life is enough. No backstabbing.. No fights. No quarrels. None of everything. Just precious moments n memories between us is enough. Thats it. And thats what true friends are for!

The feelings right now. I can proudly say that im Happy. Calm. Blessed.

Restu? Since that day..allah have proven me that my fate is not with him. Ive realize that even thou how much we want things going in our favour..we cant make it happen even how much effort you have put in it. If its not for you..its not. Fullstop.

Rasid? Alhamdullilah. I can say..he's the reason why im happy n contented right now..we are taking it slow.. As i know he's not ready to dwell in a relationship right now. Just going with the flow n follow our hearts. He's the first that i have real patience for a guy that i love. I have faith in him. Even thou he's ego are high as the sky.. I hope i could have the patience to withstand him n i hope he could be a better person..and the be the one guiding me.

Ya allah.. Jangan lah kau hampa hamba mu ini ya allah. Kalau lah dia memang untuk aku.. Berubah lah dia supaya jadi ihsan yang baik dalam semuanya dan ikhlas untuk membinbingku dalam semuanya.

And i hope.. When i have put all my love n effort to you,rasid.. Dont you decide to dissapoint me or hurt me . I cant bear to overcome all of it again.

I need to let it all out. Guess this will be source of letting it all out. I know i have friends that i can let out to..but surely they are sick n tired of hearing the same old shit from me all over again.

Everything starts to change when restu broke up with me. Till now i cant accept the fucking fact that he left me. I still remember clearly what he said to me on that night. From that day onwards my life n my feelings..undescribeable!!

If i could turn back time..IF.. I just want my restu hidayat back.. Ya allah..jangan lah engkau menguji aku sebegini..aku dah tak sanggup lagi.. Memang apa yg aku rasa sekarang tak seberat tapi aku nak engkau tahu yang aku dah tak rela nak menahan ni semua lagi..

Restu..im sorry restu.. I knew i did a very big mistake..but who doesnt make mistakes right? U did. I did. Everybody did! Why cant u just slow down n think it thru? In a blink of an eye..you moved on. N u surprised me bad.. Dgn atyqah kau suka!? Apa kurang nyer aku ni restu?! Kau tak ingat ke semua yg alu dah keborkankan untuk kau n keluarga kau? Kau da lupa ke tu semua?

Nobody knows what i really feel deep down.. Even thou i choose to deny or fake it.. Im still hurt..n trying hard not to break down. Keep telling myself i need to be strong n keep my head high n move on. But deep down i know i cant fake it any longer. Im still yearning for your attention n your love to me back!!! Until when will you realize that u made a big mistake on that fateful night? Until when restu???


Haiz.. When will all this torture ends?should i still hope for restu to be back in my life? If i do get the chance to be with him back..will things be like before? Will we have that same happiness? Will we have that trust like we did? Will we fight for stupid stuff ever again?

Mungkin ni lah satu cabaran hidup aku. I hope i can be strong. Akan slalu mendoa aku akan dapatkan kebahagian itu kembali.

Jikalau restu bukan untukku..temukan lah aku dgn seorang yang baik dan bahagiakan aku sepertinya. Jikalau restu ialah untukku..kembalikan lah dia ke aku..aku da tak sanggup untuk menghadapi dugaan hidup ini..