I need to let it all out. Guess this will be source of letting it all out. I know i have friends that i can let out to..but surely they are sick n tired of hearing the same old shit from me all over again.

Everything starts to change when restu broke up with me. Till now i cant accept the fucking fact that he left me. I still remember clearly what he said to me on that night. From that day onwards my life n my feelings..undescribeable!!

If i could turn back time..IF.. I just want my restu hidayat back.. Ya allah..jangan lah engkau menguji aku sebegini..aku dah tak sanggup lagi.. Memang apa yg aku rasa sekarang tak seberat tapi aku nak engkau tahu yang aku dah tak rela nak menahan ni semua lagi..

Restu..im sorry restu.. I knew i did a very big mistake..but who doesnt make mistakes right? U did. I did. Everybody did! Why cant u just slow down n think it thru? In a blink of an eye..you moved on. N u surprised me bad.. Dgn atyqah kau suka!? Apa kurang nyer aku ni restu?! Kau tak ingat ke semua yg alu dah keborkankan untuk kau n keluarga kau? Kau da lupa ke tu semua?

Nobody knows what i really feel deep down.. Even thou i choose to deny or fake it.. Im still hurt..n trying hard not to break down. Keep telling myself i need to be strong n keep my head high n move on. But deep down i know i cant fake it any longer. Im still yearning for your attention n your love to me back!!! Until when will you realize that u made a big mistake on that fateful night? Until when restu???


Haiz.. When will all this torture ends?should i still hope for restu to be back in my life? If i do get the chance to be with him back..will things be like before? Will we have that same happiness? Will we have that trust like we did? Will we fight for stupid stuff ever again?

Mungkin ni lah satu cabaran hidup aku. I hope i can be strong. Akan slalu mendoa aku akan dapatkan kebahagian itu kembali.

Jikalau restu bukan untukku..temukan lah aku dgn seorang yang baik dan bahagiakan aku sepertinya. Jikalau restu ialah untukku..kembalikan lah dia ke aku..aku da tak sanggup untuk menghadapi dugaan hidup ini..